The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I was ok until this week with this whole unemployment thing. Now, not so much.

I hate not knowing what's going to happen.
I hate not knowing when the second interview is going to be with the housing design company.
I hate knowing that I have to shell out $150/month on health insurance starting 5/1.

The waiting truly is the hardest part.

I feel like I'm just stuck, going nowhere, in this big black hole. The longer time goes on, the further I'm sucked in.

I had an interview 2 weeks ago with an online housing design company that I thought would be a great place to work. I thought the interview went pretty well and he told me that everyone always gets 2 interviews. That was enough to keep my hopes up for a little over a week. I sent my requested weekly "check-in" email, no response. I sent my second email yesterday, no response. I don't know what to think. I LOVED the company. If the money was decent, I'd accept a job there in a heartbeat. Now I'm questioning everything and in all honesty, there just isn't much of anything out there that I'm qualified for.

I've been scouring websites, magazines, the paper, anything I can think of to try to find some sort of full time employment. At this point, the reality is starting to set in... without a full time job, savings is starting to be held up, I'm having a harder time reaching my goal of paying off my credit cards and student loans, and money is just starting to be all around stressful.

The biggest thing though is that this schedule is killing me. I'm sitting here working three different jobs again, just trying to piece things together. I am working at PT job #1 at 5am twice a week and then on the other days I'm working at 8:30 at PT job #2. It's killing me. I'm also teaching lifeguarding classes on the weekends. I spend more time in the car than I should, but there's no way around it considering that I go from A to B to C to B to D all.the.time. The sad thing is these jobs are no more than 10 miles from the house.

I'm so impatient, I know that. Right now it's only getting worse though in this never-ending wait. I hate waiting.