Recently I've just been feeling...down.
I have all the reasons in the world NOT to. I have a fantastic husband, a nice house, a job (albeit part time), a great family, a (mostly) well-behaved adorable dog, and a couple very close friends.
The thing is, with this whole unemployment thing, I have a hard time being positive and happy.
It's silly, really. I have so much to be happy about and I just have such a hard time feeling it.
I go through these phases. For several weeks, I'm OK. The positive thinking thing is going well for me... it'll happen, be patient, C is supportive, he has a good, stable job, yadda yadda yadda.
WHAM! It hits. Down the hill I tumble. Different things trigger it. Thinking back, it's been a small memory of a plan. A regret from my education. A large plan foiled or postponed due to my lack of full time employment. This time though, it was something different. I realized I have a lack of a good support system of friends. I have a couple good, close friends, but I'm coming to realize that I have more "friends" than friends. Lately, I've helped several people out with various things. I know it's petty, but not a single one of them said thanks. Or seemed even remotely appreciative for the help.
That hurts. I feel used. Then I start thinking about my shortfalls as a friend. Am I that unappreciative of the things that people do for me? Do I take advantage of those few friendships I have? I'd like to think not. I hope not. I look back at my (relatively) short life so far and see that I haven't really ever had a lot of friends. A few close friends, a few "friends", but not a ton of them. I look around and see others who have a lot of friends and even "friends", which ends up being a good support system. I lack that support system. I feel like a lot of the people I'm surrounded with are just in different parts of their lives. They're moving on, having babies. While I used to find my self in a majority (those sans baby), now I'm one of the only ones without. Even if others don't have babies, they're trying to have one. We just can't do that right now. I wish we could, but I have to have a full time job first. It sucks that life is seemingly on hold because of the job situation. I wish I was able to move forward with life with them, not be the one left behind. I know, I know... there are others out there not having babies and in the same position I'm in, but for all of the people I know around here, friends from home, etc., that's just not the case. The baby fever doesn't go away.
For now, I guess I need to hold the support system that I do have close to me. They're going to be what gets me through this. The "friends" will come and go.
Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Highs, Lows and Inbetweens
For some people, unemployment is most difficult on their pocketbooks. For me, it's most difficult on my mental stability. I find myself short tempered, unmotivated, and just flat out exhausted a good bit of the time. I'm more busy and stressed out right now than I have been in a long time. I figured out the other day that on average, I spend one hour and fifteen minutes in the car a day. Funny thing is, I don't travel more than 30 or 40 miles in a day! Damn stoplights and traffic!
I never did get that second interview. I sent emails and made phone calls, and finally this past week I got through and got something scheduled. It's scheduled for 5/14 at 11:30am. I didn't realize until later that that date is the seventh anniversary of my grandfather dying. Hopefully some good will come of it, because I am so tired and so not liking where I'm at right now.
On good notes though, we're going to WI next weekend and also Chicago. Deep dish pizza, here we come! Our original plans were foiled when the tickets for Brewfest were sold out, so we had to quickly come up with Plan B. We're spending part of Friday and most of Saturday in Chicago (the first time C has been there without snow and freezing temps!) and then going to Sheboygan Saturday night and leaving Monday morning.
We went and saw Fleetwood Mac a couple weeks ago; what a good show! We were in the nosebleed seats at Time Warner Arena, but that's OK. Still a good show and the group wasn't the size of ants, so that's a plus. They are definitely getting old, but still have great stamina to get through a 2.5 hour show!
Our trip to Austin is coming up just around the corner and Becky (C's mom) is coming with us. She is now thinking of moving there as well, but first we all have to agree that we like it!
Cross those fingers, toes, legs, arms and eyes that I get a job this week.
I never did get that second interview. I sent emails and made phone calls, and finally this past week I got through and got something scheduled. It's scheduled for 5/14 at 11:30am. I didn't realize until later that that date is the seventh anniversary of my grandfather dying. Hopefully some good will come of it, because I am so tired and so not liking where I'm at right now.
On good notes though, we're going to WI next weekend and also Chicago. Deep dish pizza, here we come! Our original plans were foiled when the tickets for Brewfest were sold out, so we had to quickly come up with Plan B. We're spending part of Friday and most of Saturday in Chicago (the first time C has been there without snow and freezing temps!) and then going to Sheboygan Saturday night and leaving Monday morning.
We went and saw Fleetwood Mac a couple weeks ago; what a good show! We were in the nosebleed seats at Time Warner Arena, but that's OK. Still a good show and the group wasn't the size of ants, so that's a plus. They are definitely getting old, but still have great stamina to get through a 2.5 hour show!
Our trip to Austin is coming up just around the corner and Becky (C's mom) is coming with us. She is now thinking of moving there as well, but first we all have to agree that we like it!
Cross those fingers, toes, legs, arms and eyes that I get a job this week.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Friday the 13th
Friday the 13th... superstition and freaky to some, but for me? I have some great fun memories of good ol' Kohler, WI and Friday the 13th.
"Now and Then" was the movie of choice. Rollerblading was the activity of choice. Sprite was the drink of choice. Good times at Kohler High, that's for sure. We spent countless summer afternoons rollerblading through Kohler's streets, stopping at the gas station or Woodlake Market to go get our bottles of Sprite to sip on while people watching on Highland Drive. We'd talk about crushes, the latest gossip in the small town, things of that sort.
Abi and I have been friends since middle school; sharing many of the above mentioned times together. We had this thing though about Friday the 13th. Something good always seemed to happen on those days; typically revolving around a guy. If only we could go back to the innocence of those days...
Today was nothing special; just another day. It just so happens to be Friday the 13th. I wish that something good would have happened; while I have a lot to be thankful for, I wish that extra bit of good would've been on my side today. On the other hand, I can be glad I didn't have anything freaky happen!
"Now and Then" was the movie of choice. Rollerblading was the activity of choice. Sprite was the drink of choice. Good times at Kohler High, that's for sure. We spent countless summer afternoons rollerblading through Kohler's streets, stopping at the gas station or Woodlake Market to go get our bottles of Sprite to sip on while people watching on Highland Drive. We'd talk about crushes, the latest gossip in the small town, things of that sort.
Abi and I have been friends since middle school; sharing many of the above mentioned times together. We had this thing though about Friday the 13th. Something good always seemed to happen on those days; typically revolving around a guy. If only we could go back to the innocence of those days...
Today was nothing special; just another day. It just so happens to be Friday the 13th. I wish that something good would have happened; while I have a lot to be thankful for, I wish that extra bit of good would've been on my side today. On the other hand, I can be glad I didn't have anything freaky happen!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
ChaChaChaChanges
Well, today is a historic day.
We have a new president. We have an African American President. The first one in American history.
I don't envy him. We are in a time of crisis; there's no doubt about that. He said it in his speech:
"That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet."
(You can find the entire text of the speech here)
While I do think it's great that we have been able to elect a black person as president, I do have to wonder what it really means. Racism is still prevalent in the country today; I don't think anyone can argue with that. Is this really a big step in closing that racial divide? I wonder how many people simply voted for a candidate based on the color of their skin instead of the issues at hand. If I do give people the benefit of the doubt though and the majority voted based on issues, then bravo, America. I guess time will tell how much this means to racism in America. I can only hope that slowly but surely we are getting past the surface issues of what color a person's skin is and deal with the issues at hand.
Moving on from the racial issues, with the Dow down to below 8,000, I'm continuing to hold my breath in hopes that a new administration will mean an economic turnaround. Again, time will tell. I like my job; I'd like to keep it. I know millions echo that sentiment. Not only am I hoping for an economic turnaround and being able to keep my job (and return to full time!), I'm hoping for healthcare reform. The threat of losing my job has had me looking at private healthcare, which is ridiculously expensive. I mean, I do understand why, but only to a certain extent. I can't fathom having a family and having to pay the entire premium out of pocket.
Obama got my vote in November. He won me and I fell under the "Change we can believe in" motto. Now, Mr. President, show me that change. I know there's a long, steep, slow climb ahead of us, but a new year, a new leader and a new perspective has me hoping that promises will be kept and, in the end, we can look back and say it was change we really could believe in.
We have a new president. We have an African American President. The first one in American history.
I don't envy him. We are in a time of crisis; there's no doubt about that. He said it in his speech:
"That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet."
(You can find the entire text of the speech here)
While I do think it's great that we have been able to elect a black person as president, I do have to wonder what it really means. Racism is still prevalent in the country today; I don't think anyone can argue with that. Is this really a big step in closing that racial divide? I wonder how many people simply voted for a candidate based on the color of their skin instead of the issues at hand. If I do give people the benefit of the doubt though and the majority voted based on issues, then bravo, America. I guess time will tell how much this means to racism in America. I can only hope that slowly but surely we are getting past the surface issues of what color a person's skin is and deal with the issues at hand.
Moving on from the racial issues, with the Dow down to below 8,000, I'm continuing to hold my breath in hopes that a new administration will mean an economic turnaround. Again, time will tell. I like my job; I'd like to keep it. I know millions echo that sentiment. Not only am I hoping for an economic turnaround and being able to keep my job (and return to full time!), I'm hoping for healthcare reform. The threat of losing my job has had me looking at private healthcare, which is ridiculously expensive. I mean, I do understand why, but only to a certain extent. I can't fathom having a family and having to pay the entire premium out of pocket.
Obama got my vote in November. He won me and I fell under the "Change we can believe in" motto. Now, Mr. President, show me that change. I know there's a long, steep, slow climb ahead of us, but a new year, a new leader and a new perspective has me hoping that promises will be kept and, in the end, we can look back and say it was change we really could believe in.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
See ya, 2008!
Thank goodness it's gone.
2008, that is. I was ready for the bad of 2008 to be gone and a new year to come around, full of possibilities. C and I definitely aren't New Year's people, but it's a little refreshing knowing that the year of the bad is gone.
We had the master bathroom drama in March, where the plumber drilled the holes in the wrong panel and we had to re-order the special order shower. We also had the fraud issue with our federal taxes that month. Nine months later we finally saw our refund and our stimulus check. Then there's the ongoing job drama, where I never know if I was going to have a job the next day. Our basement flooded in August due to lovely Tropical Storm Faye. Talk about exhausting!
We did have some good in 2008 though. We had a visit from my mom and stepdad, two surgeries were successfully completed, went on a cruise, traveled a bit, and overall made it through.
I'm really looking forward to 2009, hoping it's (major) drama free and that the economy might make a slight turnaround. Already 2009 is looking up; I start working for Habitat this month, the master bath is almost done, and we're not planning a ton of home improvement projects for the year. Fingers crossed it'll be a good year!
2008, that is. I was ready for the bad of 2008 to be gone and a new year to come around, full of possibilities. C and I definitely aren't New Year's people, but it's a little refreshing knowing that the year of the bad is gone.
We had the master bathroom drama in March, where the plumber drilled the holes in the wrong panel and we had to re-order the special order shower. We also had the fraud issue with our federal taxes that month. Nine months later we finally saw our refund and our stimulus check. Then there's the ongoing job drama, where I never know if I was going to have a job the next day. Our basement flooded in August due to lovely Tropical Storm Faye. Talk about exhausting!
We did have some good in 2008 though. We had a visit from my mom and stepdad, two surgeries were successfully completed, went on a cruise, traveled a bit, and overall made it through.
I'm really looking forward to 2009, hoping it's (major) drama free and that the economy might make a slight turnaround. Already 2009 is looking up; I start working for Habitat this month, the master bath is almost done, and we're not planning a ton of home improvement projects for the year. Fingers crossed it'll be a good year!
To Be Thankful
(This post was written on Thanksgiving Day while I was riding in the car to Mississippi. Being the awful blogger that I am, I'm just now getting around to posting it.)
I know that on my list of 101 things there is an item that says to list 101 things I’m happy for; I’m not going to do that today, but maybe I’ll use this list as a launching point in the future for that task. It’s Thanksgiving Day and as I sit in the back seat of the car, feet propped up, I can’t help but reflect on some of the things that have happened in the past year. So much has happened, so much I consider bad, that I often lose sight of the good. My grandmother reminds me every time I talk to her that I need to be thankful for what I have, I need to be thankful for the good. No matter how much bad there seems to be, there’s always good. There may be just an ounce or two of good with the several pounds of bad, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be thankful.
I’m thankful for the husband I have, the one who has waited on me hand and foot (no pun intended) over the past several days as I’m recovering from surgery. You can tell his love is sincere and that he is constantly thinking about my needs and wanting to take care of me. We had a conversation last night along these lines. I told him that I know I’ve told him “thank you” a thousand times over the past several days, but I sincerely mean it. Not every husband would be as generous and loving as he has been, and his response was that not all husbands have wives that deserve it. Now, on the surface that seems like an odd comment, but he continued on to say that I’m a wonderful wife and deserve the best care that he can give me. Just the thought of that conversation makes me smile.
I’m thankful for my health. Looking at two swollen and bruised feet I may not appear healthy, but that’s not true. I don’t have high blood pressure or other common ailments; I guess the work I put into working out pays off.
I’m thankful for Jackson. He makes me smile when I don’t feel like smiling. He knows the times to be sweet and just sit, and no matter how obnoxious he can be with that ball, he is a wonderful companion to those nights when I’m home alone.
I’m thankful for my family. They’re there for us when we need it and I always look forward to our conversations. Even though relationships may be strained at times, you can’t get a new family like you can friends. Families teach you a lot, and I’ve learned from my family in more ways than I could ever count.
I’m thankful for my job. Despite the fact that it has caused me several headaches over the past several weeks, I work for a great company and I enjoy what I do, which is more than most people can say. The same can be said about the Y; I enjoy what I do and who I work for. It pays the bills and while I don’t necessarily care for working 7 days a week like I did back in college, I am thankful I have that option and ability.
I’m thankful for our house. We’re pretty proud of ourselves for buying a house at age 23, fresh out of college and beginning the rest of our lives. Granted we have had several problems that we wouldn’t have had to deal with in an apartment, it has all been a good learning experience.
The biggest thing is to remember each day to take time to be thankful. That glass must be half full; focus on the good and not the bad. I still have a long way to go on doing this all the time, but I’m getting there.
I know that on my list of 101 things there is an item that says to list 101 things I’m happy for; I’m not going to do that today, but maybe I’ll use this list as a launching point in the future for that task. It’s Thanksgiving Day and as I sit in the back seat of the car, feet propped up, I can’t help but reflect on some of the things that have happened in the past year. So much has happened, so much I consider bad, that I often lose sight of the good. My grandmother reminds me every time I talk to her that I need to be thankful for what I have, I need to be thankful for the good. No matter how much bad there seems to be, there’s always good. There may be just an ounce or two of good with the several pounds of bad, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be thankful.
I’m thankful for the husband I have, the one who has waited on me hand and foot (no pun intended) over the past several days as I’m recovering from surgery. You can tell his love is sincere and that he is constantly thinking about my needs and wanting to take care of me. We had a conversation last night along these lines. I told him that I know I’ve told him “thank you” a thousand times over the past several days, but I sincerely mean it. Not every husband would be as generous and loving as he has been, and his response was that not all husbands have wives that deserve it. Now, on the surface that seems like an odd comment, but he continued on to say that I’m a wonderful wife and deserve the best care that he can give me. Just the thought of that conversation makes me smile.
I’m thankful for my health. Looking at two swollen and bruised feet I may not appear healthy, but that’s not true. I don’t have high blood pressure or other common ailments; I guess the work I put into working out pays off.
I’m thankful for Jackson. He makes me smile when I don’t feel like smiling. He knows the times to be sweet and just sit, and no matter how obnoxious he can be with that ball, he is a wonderful companion to those nights when I’m home alone.
I’m thankful for my family. They’re there for us when we need it and I always look forward to our conversations. Even though relationships may be strained at times, you can’t get a new family like you can friends. Families teach you a lot, and I’ve learned from my family in more ways than I could ever count.
I’m thankful for my job. Despite the fact that it has caused me several headaches over the past several weeks, I work for a great company and I enjoy what I do, which is more than most people can say. The same can be said about the Y; I enjoy what I do and who I work for. It pays the bills and while I don’t necessarily care for working 7 days a week like I did back in college, I am thankful I have that option and ability.
I’m thankful for our house. We’re pretty proud of ourselves for buying a house at age 23, fresh out of college and beginning the rest of our lives. Granted we have had several problems that we wouldn’t have had to deal with in an apartment, it has all been a good learning experience.
The biggest thing is to remember each day to take time to be thankful. That glass must be half full; focus on the good and not the bad. I still have a long way to go on doing this all the time, but I’m getting there.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Fashion Don'ts
I can't help but people watch when I'm out in public. We just got back from our 3rd cruise and for some reason, I thought it was blogworthy to note things that should never be done again when it comes to fashion.
Here it goes...
-Fanny packs. Dude, they're out. Sorry.
-Men with shorts, black dress socks, and bright white tennis shoes. Sorry sir, you scream Snowbird in Florida. Did you forget your white socks in Wisconsin?
-Matching his/hers outfits. Please shoot me if you ever catch me and my husband doing this.
-Men with two pierced ears. Especially older (read: 70+) men with bigger diamond studs in both ears than what most engagement rings have.
-Women in matching tops/bottoms. You know what I'm talking about. Those outfits with the huge flowers, usually with shirts that don't fit (usually those unflattering draping shirts) and the elastic banded pants. No one needs that much going on in an outfit.
-Women's jeans with no pockets on the butt. Trust me. Your butt looks 100 times bigger without the pockets.
Here it goes...
-Fanny packs. Dude, they're out. Sorry.
-Men with shorts, black dress socks, and bright white tennis shoes. Sorry sir, you scream Snowbird in Florida. Did you forget your white socks in Wisconsin?
-Matching his/hers outfits. Please shoot me if you ever catch me and my husband doing this.
-Men with two pierced ears. Especially older (read: 70+) men with bigger diamond studs in both ears than what most engagement rings have.
-Women in matching tops/bottoms. You know what I'm talking about. Those outfits with the huge flowers, usually with shirts that don't fit (usually those unflattering draping shirts) and the elastic banded pants. No one needs that much going on in an outfit.
-Women's jeans with no pockets on the butt. Trust me. Your butt looks 100 times bigger without the pockets.
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